Berks County

When i was living in a small, rented house in Perris, California, after a second abortion of a baby with my husband, I longed to be churched. I did not feel called to the churches of Southern California. I longed for the people and places of Berks County, Pennsylvania, where i lived for 4 years … Continue reading Berks County →

Collecting my work

First of all, i am neither a seer nor a soothsayer. i am just someone with a psych history who met an alien recently. I have to go take that out of my blog header.

About my son

He means the world to me and nothing else can compare. The Dove was important, but it became ancillary, through a paradigm shift off of Boston and Manhattan to Buffalo, NY, a stone's throw from my own birthplace in PA also near Lake Erie, to my relationship with a Canadian husband and the birth of … Continue reading About my son →

As we speak

I have to make a serious confession. I have to relinquish my son and my husband from my life. It was nice to be expunged from Harvard and every affiliate for a few days but I don't think that that is actually the case. I was tossing mail today and a lot of it was … Continue reading As we speak →

About “Sam”

He told me he only lets the phone ring 3 times and hangs up if nobody picks up. A while after our relationship, such as it was, had ended, The phone rang three times, and then stopped. I thought, was that him? I let it go. There was no way to know. I thought, probably … Continue reading About “Sam” →

Taboo

Psych used to be taboo. A whisper. It was broken open by Susannah Keyson who wrote "Girl Interrupted" back in the '90's. I couldn't finish reading the book because of how corrupted by psych my life was at that time but I read enough to to be completely thrilled that a light was being cast … Continue reading Taboo →

EXPUNGED

After declaring myself expunged from Harvard (a word came to me and then I wasn't sure so I made myself expunged anyway; it was preferable and sane); I learned that in fact I had already been expunged a long time ago. They just send me the monthly magazine so I don't hurt myself over it. … Continue reading EXPUNGED →

in case i go…

always with the cigarette. for my mother: you were correct. I chose to smoke. I chose it on the playground at Salt Brook School where the cool girls went out behind the building to smoke cigatettes during free time. When i went to visit Kent, the girls who hosted me took me with them to … Continue reading in case i go… →

Bitch–(me)

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN I am very very sorry for the person I have been most of my life who was a real bitch to so many people because of the pain, bewilderment and frustration I was dealing with from my physical conditions that noone knew of or understood and then getting badly misdiagnosed … Continue reading Bitch–(me) →

The end of 37 years confusion

I heard from a dear, sweet, kind person who was helping my ex and some Arab friends he met to do the rewiring of the home, that very bright people can fall into years of confusion, and suddenly I see that it really is true and it really was what happened to me. Simple confusion. … Continue reading The end of 37 years confusion →