embarrassment

Sometimes one bad thing solves something worse/ I ran to the front door in my skivvy nighty with a corduroy short covering it because I was waiting for a delivery that I was afraid my father would refuse the delivery. He was stuck out back and didn't have time to do anthing. It is a … Continue reading embarrassment →

alibi

Catholic Christian Radio, Tamp, Florida I was addic ted to it. In PA i was constantly listening to songs on the radio running through my mind. In California I took it to the highways. Driving my sharp, shock-blue Acura smoking cigarettes and listening to a few CD's where I got as far as L.A. or … Continue reading alibi →

the love of my life

I was waiting for someone very special. Unfortunately, I did not know to refrain from sexuality with other men in the mean time. A young friend of my father's said in a get-together I wasn't part of, as was normally the case, suggested that I needed someone strong--SEXUALLY strong. Alex and I wandered into each … Continue reading the love of my life →

lies, fabrications

also, Ian, you may be hearing a lot of lies and fabrications from people who only knew that I went to the state hospital and let go. Your ideas and memories change over the years about people you knew when they hear bad things. Your ideas about who you were to them change when you … Continue reading lies, fabrications →

Letter to my son

I am sensing in your mood that you are hearing some bad things from people who knew me at Kent and Harvard and other times. I am very sorry for this. Sorry that people are telling you and sorry that those things happened. There were a lot of people taking advantage of me and leading me down wrong paths and … Continue reading Letter to my son →

Kent School, Connecticut

We used to vacation at Lake Waramaug near New Preston, CT, and my parents discovered that there was a boarding school nearby. It was about a minute before whey decided to A send us to boarding school and B be definitely interested in Kent, especially because of the equestrian program. In other words, my mother … Continue reading Kent School, Connecticut →

In the Courtroom?

In my mind I see my father in the courtroom. He gave vague information to me about his whereabouts for the last few days, he was vague and they were for a long but indeterminate period. Usually we are here most of the day most of the time and we do our best to be … Continue reading In the Courtroom? →

My father is thrilling but also dangerous and deadly. He misses the days when people were in awe of his mental powers. 90 must be hard. Getting to know my keyboard. My sister, on the other hand, was never thrilling. She came into this world by killing my cat and the kittens were all gone … Continue reading →

De Facto restraining order

This is the end of it. I remember where it all started. For a long time I was wary of Claire because disputes with Claire can end up putting me out of house and home. It's happened before and I'm not going to let it happen again. A while back, like, 2 years ago, my … Continue reading De Facto restraining order →

siblings

I have the saddest news here to report. I have heard Ian's stories about Claire all his life and I have reason to be believe that he was seriously sexually abused by her. My mother tried to put it on me. I never sexually abused my son. We were too close from being left alone … Continue reading siblings →