I am…

...the mole-wart person. That is how I will be remembered. and that I kept myself awake and alive in the woods in PA in the middle of winter for 5 days by saying "I think therefore I am." And playing a puzzle game 8n my head with the suits in a deck of cards and … Continue reading I am… →

the heart of the irony

...in the mental health system nationwide is so simple. Has anybody commented on this before? I saw this when I was at Philhaven watching someone have his rights explained to him while he was signing in. what on Earth is the meaning of a piece of paper signed by a person reporting himself to any … Continue reading the heart of the irony →

Specialness

when I lived here in the 80's (I identified as Berks County), there were 4 diagnoses: major depression, manic depression, schizophrenia, and borderline personality disorder. I always remember that poor fellow with horrible OCD being thrown out of the partial program that I was attending. Since then, things have changed. But those memories are indelible. … Continue reading Specialness →

Philhaven

is worse than Wernersville. my father doesn't care which one he sends me to, he just wants a win. I set him a task without meaning to. he said stop proselytizing to me. Christians are odious for how they won't leave you alone when you have no interest in their faith. Hundreds of times he … Continue reading Philhaven →

a break on the horizon

someone who can break down these decades of disorganized persecution over a psych condition that was always in question. I used to say it was like walking into a doctors office with a broken leg and a headache from not sleeping and since the doctor is a psychiatrist he finds mental and mood disorders and … Continue reading a break on the horizon →

I will remove this swallowed, held, and choked up poop from the bathroom sink now. it was supposed to be a roast beef sandwich. 2 days later. I have continued to feel sick last night and today. the Lord has antidotes for me which I won't share but I feel confident I will be over … Continue reading →

“People can be so cruel”

I am so sick. this is not the first time. I've been going through poisoning after poisoning for the longest time. I just stay in prayer and ask the Lord to hold me through it. This is the nastiest, a shit sandwich. It was supposed to be roast beef. It's not funny any more. shit … Continue reading “People can be so cruel” →

deceptive

I knew that there was an app for that word in my life but I always assummed it was about my mother. That poor woman. It WAS NOT MY FAULT what happened to her and it was NOT HER FAULT what happened to me. my father's Chinese horoscope (and how rich I have found these … Continue reading deceptive →

Goodness in the Act Team

How on earth would I ever have gotten through the last 4 (?) weeks without them? Yes I was very scared leaving my life in the hands of complete strangers. But there is a miraculous change here, the wart/mole change. People don't just walk away any more and they dont ud3avtgody I dy ever did. … Continue reading Goodness in the Act Team →

The Cottage

now I see it! I just wasn't thinking! my sister and her boyfriend want the Cottage! (Where I AM LIVING.) I've made it so nice here they want to move in! And oh so so indulgent 90 year old father of a 50 year old daughter ( my sister) wants to give it to her. … Continue reading The Cottage →