Psych Diagnosis, Contd.; 2

Routinely showering at night instead of during the day, which was onerous. Today I am on an incontinence day because of the continuous lower GI issue; for 2 1/2 years it has been in abeyance with the daily use of Miralax, truly a miracle after a decade and a half of sick, serious lower GI … Continue reading Psych Diagnosis, Contd.; 2 →

the Advocate

So, at Harvard things were upside down. I finally found my place with other smokers on the undergraduate literary magazine, The Harvard Advocate. I met a man there who rocked my socks. He brought to mind the high school English teacher. Mr. Gould (now decesased) at Kent School, with whom I had been completely obsessed … Continue reading the Advocate →

About Adam

My father runs me. I used to be horribly concerned about this because of my sexual immaturity and his. Friend Robyn in Florida showed me and ex husband Alex that "everybody is a pervert!" lol!!!. He said he and his automechanic buddies cracked weird jokes all day long at the shop. We were all totally … Continue reading About Adam →

Old Friends

Amy, I'm reminded to ask you, I am in trouble over a Harvard/BU joke I told to Marcy when we were spending a lot of time together in the Boston area after graduation. Actually I am in a lot of trouble over jokes, I always loved a clever joke and people were always telling me … Continue reading Old Friends →

Remark

23 years ago I did a stupid thing. I sent a letter to an old friend with some photographs and used a nasty word about a group of people in my life. "Barracudas," I think that that was it. There was some nasty stuff going on at Harvard when I was there over Men's clubs, … Continue reading Remark →

Special Psychiatrist

I wanted to acknowledge a very special psychiatrist in Florida whom I wasnt able to appreciate at the time, Dr. Alan Feldman. When I met him I had fled rhe house in Seminole with my sons pet mouse. My mother had come to the house to take my son because I was off my meds … Continue reading Special Psychiatrist →

Small One

Racing from the sludge of my 17 year total stoppage lower GI disorder to a place in my fathers heart; apart from one another. I recollected earlier today. the moment Thanksgiving day at the house in Seminole Things were so desperate. I didnt know whether It was my father who was speaking to me orthe … Continue reading Small One →

Words; Sudden Death

Tonight I am posting my way out of the weirdest and most important single moment of my life. I told my father earlier in the day that I was watching the 2015 Steve Jobs biography movie; at that moment--of course--I didnt know how it ended. It ends with a beautiful reconciliation between Jobs and his … Continue reading Words; Sudden Death →

Here Done Now

I said that to myself last week about what I wanted and needed and here it is today and I have it: "here, done now;" after decades of peregrinating in self-psychoanalysys. At the heart of it this is what I see: my father wearing feminine menstrual protection pads for his urinary leakage to parties because … Continue reading Here Done Now →

Fearfully and wonderfully made

Abortion stinks. Its the worst thing. The Lord tells us we are "fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:14--1.) My mother didnt respect this. She blamed me for her ectopic pregnancy when I was 5 years old. Or, that was what it felt like. She went to the hospital for it on my 5th birthday, and … Continue reading Fearfully and wonderfully made →