Another message: brief

Dear Sister M., Through my interactions with you, including finally the baptism, i am healing if tbe bizarre sexual condition that plagued me all my life. More on this later. 2 minutes later: The bizarre mental OCD that started eith imoroperly taking the Tegretil and Haldol in 1987 is clearing. Tbis is incredible. My current … Continue reading Another message: brief →

not nice

The catholic church isnt nice. Not now, especially not in Pennsylvania. i have a dispute with my RCIA counselor. There was some innocuous impropriety. She had the humility to ask me to pray for her. But she cleverly let it be suggested that "no one would believe [me]" if I said anything about the minor … Continue reading not nice →

Disconnect; 2

Moving forward in leaps and bounds. Now, the first major disconnect. I was in the Oxton area (It's a up name, I can't use any real names here) of Massachusetts having graduated from Hutton College. I had run myself out of a job and a boyfriend. I had fallen into a relationship with a roommate. … Continue reading Disconnect; 2 →

Throwing hot coffee at my son, getting tasered

In 2011 or thereabouts, when i was off medication because i had just been on a posych ward which had duscharged me with a prescription for an anti-psycotic medication costing $1000 a month; i had a very nasty episode involving my son and his girlfriend. He had shoved me in the lower abdomen because i … Continue reading Throwing hot coffee at my son, getting tasered →

Grief

Steven did you know I would sit outside the Giant supermarket holding on to the steering wheel of my Ford Fusion wrenched with sobs when I finaly figured out that you were gone? Grief is not longer just a word. I didn't know where I was going. I hadn't had anything to eat. I was … Continue reading Grief →

Hallelujah

Last night I went to be without taking my bedtime medications. After a brief moment of sheer terror, I embraced the day, and it has proved through the watershed of my brother's suicide. The denouement is that I finally understood that my first psychiatrist--"CHILD psychiatrist!" I always said-- was right in putting me on an … Continue reading Hallelujah →

Problem Smoker

As i mull over rhe situation with my brother i cone upon the great tragedy of my life, which is that it was entirely lost to the vow to smoke myself to death by the time i was 35. I made the vow the night of the morning that my father abused me, which was … Continue reading Problem Smoker →

fight

my mother and father are in their early eighties. my brother's suicide has been too much for them. I was baptised into the Catholic Church yesterday. It was a beautiful private ceremony. Of course they were not invited. They are atheists. Unfortunately, my father closely guards the Catholic baptism of his youth. It is one … Continue reading fight →

cats

I have an issue with cats which took me to places that aren't safe to write about. I was stymied in self-publishing because things that were second nature to me couldn't be put in print. I kept pushing these issues and they kept saying no. This has taken me to a place of healing and … Continue reading cats →

After 40 years, Hope

At "Hutton" University, not its real name--perhaps you can guess the real name --i became a Pharisee. It took time. But after the state hospital--i clearly remember the moment--i heard the words describing the requirements of a SUPREME COURT JUSTICE--that they must take care not only of the fact if propriety but also of every … Continue reading After 40 years, Hope →