More of the Half-Lives of a Suicide

I don't know why he did it. Surely he could have picked up the phone and called somebody. I am going back in my mind to age 17 when I first desperately needed help, after my father tried to touch me. I was thinking about the money, why I have never had enough money, and … Continue reading More of the Half-Lives of a Suicide →

Suicide live online day 2

Actually we dont know exactly when it happened. I am speaking of my going public here about it. He we t mussi g over 2 weeks ago and his body was found in daylight hours there the day before Thanksgiving. Its been a slow burn. Thus morning at the Starbucks drivethrough the person ahesd of … Continue reading Suicide live online day 2 →

Not safe

My brother has committed suicide. He flung hinself off a cliff in an exotic location. I am too sad to be angry. He leaves behind his 18 year old son. And all the rest if us. It is a watershed event. We heard the tragic news Thanksgiving morning. He had been missibg for a week. … Continue reading Not safe →

Unfair

My mother cultivates me to make me do good works if benefit ti others and takes the benefut of them to prosper my brother and sustervl and anyone other tajers. Removing the ownershio from me and guving me oain and punishnent because i am disabled. This has been goung on since u was a child. … Continue reading Unfair →

Horrible

As this Thansguving goes down, my mither us still stealing my fire from long ago. Its horrible. She took a beating and all along shes hears something terrible happened to her. Meanwhile i got my tubes, my clit and my brain fried in the UCU and fell into a vegetarian stae. My mother was encouraged … Continue reading Horrible →

Who woulda thought…?

Well here i am en pointe at 57---who woulda rhought it? Im backvat "Hutton, " age 17, 1979. To do a kttle tidying and re "point"ing. Arrived on campus for rhe furst day of Freshman week withoutva a change of clirhes, landed at Kingston airpirt and asked directions ti get to the subway and from … Continue reading Who woulda thought…? →

Awesome Visit With my Oldest Friend

She left early to make it back to Manhattan on time. She was so quiet and i was so tired i wasnt aware of her going. I woke up at about 7 and stayed until 10. I havent slept through the night like that in many yesrs. It was very beautiful. So now im back … Continue reading Awesome Visit With my Oldest Friend →

An Old Friend is the Best Friend of All

Staying with her at a hotel by the waterpark. Woke up at 4 this morning having actually slept for about 4 houts wirhout waking uo. This is a first in the last 2 years or so that ive taken the Clozaril, which usually makes me wake up all night long to spit out the extra … Continue reading An Old Friend is the Best Friend of All →

Another incredible breakthrough

I have been praying the Novena to St. Jude and here is another breakthrough. Ever since I can remember I have worried that the Lord is asking me to give up my relationship with my son because I lovc him so much and everybody (my mother) is always trying to take him away from me. … Continue reading Another incredible breakthrough →

Live at catholic.com

I am in for prayers and support at catholic.com on this very special night. when the very best is coupling with the very worst in my life as various threads come together to create a major life moment. I will soon be baptised and confirmed. I will be able to take the Eucharist and I … Continue reading Live at catholic.com →