Interracial offense issue continues

I am a little confused, the Lord showed me i was in error over not letting Black Mr. E let Black Mr. C in front if him in line, thereby letting him in front of me. This happened last week and is still playing out. I was tired, and interpreted it as a racial play … Continue reading Interracial offense issue continues →

A Day of Hope, a Day of Disaster

My happy day on Tuesday was followed by waking up to total confusion on Wednesday morning. Thats how i know they were already going to do it. I got fired from partial program, when i got back here they had emailed my caseworker saying it was for lack of attendance-- that was to make sure … Continue reading A Day of Hope, a Day of Disaster →

Happy; 2

NOTE: i wrote this post yesterday and didnt post it because i thought it cuts too close to the bone of my real life relationships where this Home is sort of make believe. But today it all seems to fit together and i feel better about publishing this reflection about my oldest, dearest friend who … Continue reading Happy; 2 →

Happy

I confessed to my caseworker that i am happy here and guess what? She is applying for funding for me to stay. I thought i was out of here at the end of March, because my mother cant afford the rent. But there are government subsidies for personal care boarding homes, and they want to … Continue reading Happy →

Rejoice

Its odd how stress and trials produce holiness. Ive been sailing along with all this negativity in my last 6 or 7 or 8 posts, all the while getting all the help on the world from the Lord; and im not writing down any of the good stuff. I guess it feels to frsgile. So … Continue reading Rejoice →

OCD

The part im leaving out is the onset of tbe OCD, which i am herein making a note to bring up with the tberapist at tbe clinic, also whether tbe partial hospital program is benefitting me because my issues are so deeply personal i get shredded up when i go there, theres value in tbe … Continue reading OCD →

“Anxiety Reactive”

Another day at home over vulnerability from the sexual abuse issue being brought up. Too many thoughts of THEM intruding insidiously. Turns out i have a mammogram at 10 so i didnt have to go anyway. Its a whitewash for me as staff isnt too positive about ny going over this old stuff. But honestly … Continue reading “Anxiety Reactive” →

Deceived

Well i have been deceived! The staff here has been pulling the wool over my eyes. None of the recommendations of the PCP i saw last week were followed up on. It is ESSENTIAL to establish the PHYSICAL BASIS of my disability, i was determined to be PERMAMENTLY AND COMPLETELY DISABLED as of Februsry 1986 … Continue reading Deceived →

More on Justice, Mercy

I see hiw my father deliberately, in desperation, played up the beating my mother took and the state i fell into after the overdose as an intractable illness requiring endless further hospitalization: i had started talking to them about the sexual abuse. He had a fragile new job in a new area, which he did … Continue reading More on Justice, Mercy →

Then, Bill

Then Bill comes into the scene, four years after the beating my mother took (i can finally say it--it was all hush hush.) He zeroed in on the likekihood of a green card marriage (for citizenship) and the "wild sex" was gravy. All i knew was that it took me 3000 miles away from them, … Continue reading Then, Bill →