Somewhere in all this posting i neglected to record the moment where my mother's ectopic pregnancy came true. She banished it from memory all her life but we have all lived with it. In the post "Sick Today" i recorded The place where she grabbed at my soul, and the nightswatchman caught me there unprotected … Continue reading Ectopic Pregnancy
Category: Uncategorized
Freedom
God just released me from the sexual relationship with my ex husband, which was a question of ungodly and painful contortions. It is a relief. God showed me His tears. I'm not sure what He means. I see ny husband in my minds eye, a good looking fellow with a good sense of humor. How … Continue reading Freedom
Struggle
The struggle is getting me down. Friction with my roommate. I woke up a blank slate and went die for fruit gummy candy from rhe snack machine and then for a cigsrette and when the man A. bummed a cigarette I blurted out what is always in my mind when i see him, "you're a … Continue reading Struggle
Roommate
My roommates sister came with half a dozen shiney clear plastic hangers, half a dozen shiny clear plastic hangers with metal clips, and a dozen heavy duty wire hangers. They were pleasantly clanging and clashing together as she fumbled with them getting them into her wardrobe. I could not judge for sure but she did … Continue reading Roommate
Sick Today
Doing penance for going off on my roommate yesterday (In my mind, but i can tell she felt it) over her getting on the phone when i was desperate to pray. I talked about it in my last post. I woke up in a BAD way this morning and finally understood that that was where … Continue reading Sick Today
Jury Duty
After a day that was salvaged from a bad start to a lofty place, i am beached on a rocky shore with no help in sight. I got to the place where my mother had to give it over to my ex to let us be but then that clarity failed through my roommate usurping … Continue reading Jury Duty
Old Business
At 600 private smoke break my son showed up to protect and defend me from intruding voices from the smoke porch 50 feet away. When the male resident B. at the heart of the problem, showed up, we left the fire escape stairway I was sitting on to do what i had meant to do … Continue reading Old Business
Oh My Soul
I see my whole life like an ocean of woe, but its a sunny day, and thete ate a few seagulls to delight. Im letting it all go. Challenging my mother, finally, felt different from what I thought. I called her to see if she was planning to come to visit and she was not … Continue reading Oh My Soul
Most important email of my life
Two emails to my mother Well this is actually the second most important. The first one was one that I accidentally dumped when email was still new and not so finely crafted, and I was welcoming the 'rents home from Europe after their trip there following after a dinner in Texas to honor the … Continue reading Most important email of my life
Happy, desultory meanderings
I couldnt be happier. My son is working a respectable job, nothing fancy but it delights my heart. He didnt say and I didn't want to pressure him but my mother told me. On the side he's doing some computer work for my ex which keeps his mind busy. Its been a funny day, i … Continue reading Happy, desultory meanderings
Un.Bon.Mot 