Well it happens every time. I buy a custom domain and then i get carried away with my blog. This time i got thrown a curve. I started thinking about my old therapist in Florida, the one i got hung up on for years. At one point he was ready to date me but i … Continue reading The Battle for my Blog
Category: Uncategorized
Error
Im beating myself up over a banal and stupid error, fumbling with my cigzrette butt at the smoke extinguishing receptacle and dropping it on the ground, and i came here, only to be reassured thzt i haven't finally, really lost the thread--what i always live in fear of. No-- by my last post, "Error Message," … Continue reading Error
Error Message
I'm getting an error message, and i worry its over breaking off with my mother. I see so clearly that it should be done according to practical psychological wisdom but sonewhere in the fairytale landscape of our relatioship i fear i am erring. I just came to a place where i pissed someone off and … Continue reading Error Message
Critical Moment
Husband shows up on the scene. (In my mind of course. But that is the battleground.) He showed up to punch the crap out of this lowly little fellow who talks sbout 'pussy' in tbe smoke shack and a lot worse, who bummed the butt i was about to put out for a light when … Continue reading Critical Moment
Attitudes and Personalities
Well so far im fouling out on the separate smoke breaks. I keep uncontrollably craving one at the regular smoke brrak times. At 4 i almost got caught on the way in by big J, although i had higher ground while i was smoking i had to cross near the smoking area to get rid … Continue reading Attitudes and Personalities
Near Miss
I just narrowly avoided going to the hospital last night. And today. Last night i called 911. It got so bad, big J. and the nightwatchman, P., were talking about guns in the hallway on the way out; and as we lit up our cigarettes they were talking about the state police, i think thst … Continue reading Near Miss
Desperation
I resorted to calling my mother and arranging a visit during the week. I was quietly and rudely frozen out of the smoke porch at 6 and then faced my roommate, who is on Haldol, and intrusively complains. She stays up all night. Last night the light was on all night and i got no … Continue reading Desperation
Desultory Ending
Well i have to follow up to be honest. I aced the smoking porch at 9 a.m., having been primed since 6 a.m. i took no guff and walked out of there to rhe sound of church bells ringing. It was clear that i had to be there and thats why i had to miss … Continue reading Desultory Ending
Sunday morning
My guiding voices, in this case my son's, tell me not to go to Church this morning. I have LEARNED to follow these voices, following the example of St. Faustina and her 'internal promptjngs.' They're not 'voices' just a single word like 'no', or 'do' or 'do not.' Its odd but its been going on … Continue reading Sunday morning
Brawl on the smoking porch
They were all on me. I was about to call 911. Maybe i should have. Miss J (i promised not to use names) swore she didnt kniw what i was talking about when i called her on holding back the lighter shortly after i got here "Abby got burned," big J said, and i told … Continue reading Brawl on the smoking porch
Un.Bon.Mot 