Problem Solved on the Smoking Porch

Big J gave me a fist bump on the way in. I thanked him on the way out. In the interim, i got my cigarette and a light without a fight, i froze on a stuck place, listening to my son say to me in my mind, "God did that to you;" and after several … Continue reading Problem Solved on the Smoking Porch →

Proving Through (from late last night)

Its a miracle. The bad press that went down in 2008, when i was stymied by having to choose between supporting the first Black President and opposing abortion, is falling away. I wrote insensitive letters to the editor of the St Petersburg Times deriding Barak Obama for being faithless to former slaves, not being one … Continue reading Proving Through (from late last night) →

Christ’s Miraculous Provision

...was afforded within minutes if posting that last post. In the form of insight unravelling the tangled web. I remembered that i had just had my memory refreshed that Bruce was ex military. And i remembered the moment early on in our relationship when a woman who is no longer here verbally assaulted him on … Continue reading Christ’s Miraculous Provision →

Praying

The interracial incident continues to play out. I see tbat i was feeling invisible, like a Black man does, see, "the Invisible Man." I would have tolerated it if it weren't for the threat of a third Black man, a younger man with whom i frequently have trouble, threatening to cut in ahead of me … Continue reading Praying →

Hope

I hoped that after i forgave Bruce, which i did, it was a painstaking process of letting go of difficult moments; i hoped that all the rest of the trouble, including the "interracial offense," would come out in the wash. But its going slowly and taking its time, this forgiveness. I realized that Satan had … Continue reading Hope →

Interracial offense issue continues

I am a little confused, the Lord showed me i was in error over not letting Black Mr. E let Black Mr. C in front if him in line, thereby letting him in front of me. This happened last week and is still playing out. I was tired, and interpreted it as a racial play … Continue reading Interracial offense issue continues →

A Day of Hope, a Day of Disaster

My happy day on Tuesday was followed by waking up to total confusion on Wednesday morning. Thats how i know they were already going to do it. I got fired from partial program, when i got back here they had emailed my caseworker saying it was for lack of attendance-- that was to make sure … Continue reading A Day of Hope, a Day of Disaster →

Happy; 2

NOTE: i wrote this post yesterday and didnt post it because i thought it cuts too close to the bone of my real life relationships where this Home is sort of make believe. But today it all seems to fit together and i feel better about publishing this reflection about my oldest, dearest friend who … Continue reading Happy; 2 →

Happy

I confessed to my caseworker that i am happy here and guess what? She is applying for funding for me to stay. I thought i was out of here at the end of March, because my mother cant afford the rent. But there are government subsidies for personal care boarding homes, and they want to … Continue reading Happy →

Rejoice

Its odd how stress and trials produce holiness. Ive been sailing along with all this negativity in my last 6 or 7 or 8 posts, all the while getting all the help on the world from the Lord; and im not writing down any of the good stuff. I guess it feels to frsgile. So … Continue reading Rejoice →