The part im leaving out is the onset of tbe OCD, which i am herein making a note to bring up with the tberapist at tbe clinic, also whether tbe partial hospital program is benefitting me because my issues are so deeply personal i get shredded up when i go there, theres value in tbe … Continue reading OCD
“Anxiety Reactive”
Another day at home over vulnerability from the sexual abuse issue being brought up. Too many thoughts of THEM intruding insidiously. Turns out i have a mammogram at 10 so i didnt have to go anyway. Its a whitewash for me as staff isnt too positive about ny going over this old stuff. But honestly … Continue reading “Anxiety Reactive”
Deceived
Well i have been deceived! The staff here has been pulling the wool over my eyes. None of the recommendations of the PCP i saw last week were followed up on. It is ESSENTIAL to establish the PHYSICAL BASIS of my disability, i was determined to be PERMAMENTLY AND COMPLETELY DISABLED as of Februsry 1986 … Continue reading Deceived
More on Justice, Mercy
I see hiw my father deliberately, in desperation, played up the beating my mother took and the state i fell into after the overdose as an intractable illness requiring endless further hospitalization: i had started talking to them about the sexual abuse. He had a fragile new job in a new area, which he did … Continue reading More on Justice, Mercy
Then, Bill
Then Bill comes into the scene, four years after the beating my mother took (i can finally say it--it was all hush hush.) He zeroed in on the likekihood of a green card marriage (for citizenship) and the "wild sex" was gravy. All i knew was that it took me 3000 miles away from them, … Continue reading Then, Bill
Justice, Mercy
From a Christian song: "let justice be served and then mercy win" This works both ways in my family. Im working on the sexual abuse. 39 years later, its finally out what really happened. My father had put a gloss on it, and then they attached a barge to that: weve been talking apples and … Continue reading Justice, Mercy
10 good things i have done for Black America
D6 1--I always held the door for Black wonen when i lived in Florida. 2--when the circumstances warrant it i address a Black man as sir. 3--on the psych ward in Florida i protected the grape juice ("the color purple") and the orange juice. OJ Simpson was on trial for murder. Clarence Thomas was facing … Continue reading 10 good things i have done for Black America
Cutting in line
The did it to me at breakfast this morning and tbey did it to me st 1030 smoke break. A white man let a black man and a black wonan cut in front of me. See "Mending Fences..." im dealing with this and the working out the sexual abuse with ny father at the same … Continue reading Cutting in line
And…
Wow im writing. And some of my writing is about my experiences with Black men and Black women and i have to get it out just like i have to get other stuff out. I have had some very bad experiences with Black men and women in my British racial blindness, and i need to … Continue reading And…
Wow! I’m writing
In the last few days i have written a class note at Hutton.edu, an email to my father (about sexual abuse), a thank you ketter to my doctor at the extended acute care unit i stayed on for 8 months before coming here; and numerous posts here. Last thing i remember, before neeting my ex … Continue reading Wow! I’m writing
Un.Bon.Mot 