Now i have my life complete. The last thing in the pipeline was the questionable involvement with black racial ussues, where I had determined that i sexualized Blacks and withdrew from that arena. I repented. But repentance brings good things. I have always been thrown into the race issue since marching for blacks with my … Continue reading White Woman Gives an Accounting
End of the Day
It has been a very funny day, funny strange. At the end if the day it comes back to my phone call with my mother. I called her after falling into a sin, thinking I would be safe, and then I wasn't. She got in a line about my shoes, akways a bone of contention … Continue reading End of the Day
Icarus
When I was too young i flew too close to the sun, and my wings of wax melted. I was dancing with my father, not knowing what else to do. I crashed and burned, Here i am on the smoking porch of a personal care boarding home 35 years later, awash in the embers of … Continue reading Icarus
New Innocence, Continued
God tells us to give the reasons for our faith, and it is delightful to do it. I was thinking back to the awful place where i came here to Pennsylvania after the divorce instead if following my dream of going back to the antique and beautiful apartment complex in Buffalo we moved to to … Continue reading New Innocence, Continued
New innocence
Finally I found myself in tears and held by Jesus. Other things went wrong besides the ones I mentioned in my last post "Ectopic Pregnancy," and i realized that i have changed since yesterday as described in ny post "Freedom," about a release from the sex with my husband which had continued in my mind. … Continue reading New innocence
Ectopic Pregnancy
Somewhere in all this posting i neglected to record the moment where my mother's ectopic pregnancy came true. She banished it from memory all her life but we have all lived with it. In the post "Sick Today" i recorded The place where she grabbed at my soul, and the nightswatchman caught me there unprotected … Continue reading Ectopic Pregnancy
Freedom
God just released me from the sexual relationship with my ex husband, which was a question of ungodly and painful contortions. It is a relief. God showed me His tears. I'm not sure what He means. I see ny husband in my minds eye, a good looking fellow with a good sense of humor. How … Continue reading Freedom
Struggle
The struggle is getting me down. Friction with my roommate. I woke up a blank slate and went die for fruit gummy candy from rhe snack machine and then for a cigsrette and when the man A. bummed a cigarette I blurted out what is always in my mind when i see him, "you're a … Continue reading Struggle
Roommate
My roommates sister came with half a dozen shiney clear plastic hangers, half a dozen shiny clear plastic hangers with metal clips, and a dozen heavy duty wire hangers. They were pleasantly clanging and clashing together as she fumbled with them getting them into her wardrobe. I could not judge for sure but she did … Continue reading Roommate
Sick Today
Doing penance for going off on my roommate yesterday (In my mind, but i can tell she felt it) over her getting on the phone when i was desperate to pray. I talked about it in my last post. I woke up in a BAD way this morning and finally understood that that was where … Continue reading Sick Today
Un.Bon.Mot 