After a day that was salvaged from a bad start to a lofty place, i am beached on a rocky shore with no help in sight. I got to the place where my mother had to give it over to my ex to let us be but then that clarity failed through my roommate usurping … Continue reading Jury Duty
Old Business
At 600 private smoke break my son showed up to protect and defend me from intruding voices from the smoke porch 50 feet away. When the male resident B. at the heart of the problem, showed up, we left the fire escape stairway I was sitting on to do what i had meant to do … Continue reading Old Business
Oh My Soul
I see my whole life like an ocean of woe, but its a sunny day, and thete ate a few seagulls to delight. Im letting it all go. Challenging my mother, finally, felt different from what I thought. I called her to see if she was planning to come to visit and she was not … Continue reading Oh My Soul
Most important email of my life
Two emails to my mother Well this is actually the second most important. The first one was one that I accidentally dumped when email was still new and not so finely crafted, and I was welcoming the 'rents home from Europe after their trip there following after a dinner in Texas to honor the … Continue reading Most important email of my life
Happy, desultory meanderings
I couldnt be happier. My son is working a respectable job, nothing fancy but it delights my heart. He didnt say and I didn't want to pressure him but my mother told me. On the side he's doing some computer work for my ex which keeps his mind busy. Its been a funny day, i … Continue reading Happy, desultory meanderings
Sister
Now my sister is what's up on the smoking porch. Through chance associations we fell upon her husband who grew up on a bus in South central Florida with 9 other kids. I cant say any more without clearly revealing his identity. You really did it this time sister. I'm not really sure how that … Continue reading Sister
Down a few points on the smoking porch
Had to go out with the protection of a staffer and she was protecting the peace in general and not just me and i took a few steps down in humility that i wasnt well able to accept, not being well established in my new mode which is falling all over nyself in my old, … Continue reading Down a few points on the smoking porch
Sudden Death in the Smoke Shack
Well I thought I had it beat. With all this that I've been going through, and private smoke breaks, I've gotten in touch with gentler times, despite the horrors and a gentler me, happier, more positive, even with all the tragedy. But im forced back into the Smoke Shack by various factors including rain, and … Continue reading Sudden Death in the Smoke Shack
Unthinkable
It was UNTHINKABLE what happened to me. I loved music. To play the piano. My family. To read books. I loved horses. To listen to my brother play the guitar. I loved to be sweetly sad. To get carried away with a movie. I was sexually destroyed, my clitoris in a clamp and my urethra … Continue reading Unthinkable
SEXUAL INJURY
That's what my life comes down to. Nobody wants to go near it. Its not that they dont understand, they dont want to have anything to do with it. Like the girl in a car crash who talked about "self-cathing" and never came back, and the guy in one partial program who talked about his … Continue reading SEXUAL INJURY
Un.Bon.Mot 