What a time it's been. I haven't thought if you much since then. In the end, as fall semester in James House wore on, I was moving into acute paranoid stress psychosis. Your worst nightmares were true. I thought of harming you. I won't say it all even here because it would probably get me … Continue reading Oh Miss S.
Superbowl win: personal status
For the Eagles, obviously. It just had to be. It coats over the dismal dismay of my illness with morning sunshine, and my favorite breakfast, poached eggs, English muffins and bacon. I probably should have opted for the hot cereal but I missed the last poached eggs too. So I'm feeling just a tiny little bit … Continue reading Superbowl win: personal status
Nightmare
My mother is frightening. As i came to post about her I was sidetracked by an email notification, which I don't usually get: it was her. I was coming here to post about a horrifying clarity I have cone to about my whole adult life, it is completely defined,from where i stand now, by the … Continue reading Nightmare
Illness and Insight
God has some brutal or "brute force" ways of working. As soon as I said I would trust in his always keeping the thread for me, He broke it. And at the same time he showed me my roommate, who is, it turns out, a Catholic. (She went to Mass this morning.) So much as … Continue reading Illness and Insight
Breaking News–A Miracle
OR "The Power of Repentance" How can I share this? I have trusted in 'promptings,' like St. Faustian, feeling foolish and simple and as if God was playing a game to humiliate me and now His LOVE is surging through. I see the face if Jesus gentling me through all the broken places. "You have … Continue reading Breaking News–A Miracle
The Battle for my Blog
Well it happens every time. I buy a custom domain and then i get carried away with my blog. This time i got thrown a curve. I started thinking about my old therapist in Florida, the one i got hung up on for years. At one point he was ready to date me but i … Continue reading The Battle for my Blog
Error
Im beating myself up over a banal and stupid error, fumbling with my cigzrette butt at the smoke extinguishing receptacle and dropping it on the ground, and i came here, only to be reassured thzt i haven't finally, really lost the thread--what i always live in fear of. No-- by my last post, "Error Message," … Continue reading Error
Error Message
I'm getting an error message, and i worry its over breaking off with my mother. I see so clearly that it should be done according to practical psychological wisdom but sonewhere in the fairytale landscape of our relatioship i fear i am erring. I just came to a place where i pissed someone off and … Continue reading Error Message
Critical Moment
Husband shows up on the scene. (In my mind of course. But that is the battleground.) He showed up to punch the crap out of this lowly little fellow who talks sbout 'pussy' in tbe smoke shack and a lot worse, who bummed the butt i was about to put out for a light when … Continue reading Critical Moment
Attitudes and Personalities
Well so far im fouling out on the separate smoke breaks. I keep uncontrollably craving one at the regular smoke brrak times. At 4 i almost got caught on the way in by big J, although i had higher ground while i was smoking i had to cross near the smoking area to get rid … Continue reading Attitudes and Personalities
Un.Bon.Mot 