Desolate

Flashback A one time close friend told me at a critical moment never to abandon a cause. At that time the one obvious cause for me was my pro-Life commitment which was extremely relative to my personal life. I was in a psych ward. I started calling myself "God's poster child for the Prol-Life Cause." … Continue reading Desolate →

So Many Changes in a Lifetime

I felt stuck on one all my life. But the question is, WHICH ONE? So many bad places. And it was all about, which psychiatrist(s) to sue? I was like that RIGHT AFTER Hopkins. When we were living in Maryland near DC. After the Hopkins or as part of the Hopkins debacle. I am beginning … Continue reading So Many Changes in a Lifetime →

Abt Change

So (on the DL) I have massive brain damage. Since leaving PA, in 1990 and leaving the clamped crotch episode of my life (but, of course, it came with me as well), and going to California, and getting the Wart-Mole removed from my face RECENTLY, I have become an entirely new person from what people … Continue reading Abt Change →

Ditching the bad, turn on the good

They told me that at the hospital on Mt Auburn Street in Cambridge when I was leaving for PA in 1986. "Only the good," they said. And I didn't know what that meant. There had never been any good. Daisy the cat was good but that was bad because I wasn't good enough to take … Continue reading Ditching the bad, turn on the good →

Florida oranges

The Florida light has an orange quality when you think of it. Or so it is for me. I was thinking of happiness and I thought of a deep orange sunset glow and of course it was Florida. In California it was pure gold streaming through the birch wood behind our house in (dystopic) Perris … Continue reading Florida oranges →

Tampa Bay

My Therapist in Maryland told me not to go. But we took a trip to see it and I dug my toes in the sand on the Treasure Island beach and I plighted my troth with my husband there all anew. I wanted to drive there down the coast from Maryland. It was just so, … Continue reading Tampa Bay →

Special

At the state hospital you had to get used to men who got into fights and men who had killed people. This made it very difficult to return to society. i was in such a fragile condition. I got used to it there in a while in a bad way, it corrupted me, I used … Continue reading Special →

State hospital

they tagged me as the antiChrist when i left. there were some hardcore patients a bit older who said i looked like "someone who would kill people." That was my eyes. The "ghoul epiphany" from the torture in the ICU. Those two did something to me that I never got overd.r and the iProgram leader … Continue reading State hospital →

Happy Day

Working on selling this tablet and or the contents and movie rights. i have come to the end of my story insofar as it involves the general public at this time. There are probable 3 films here but I wouldnt know how that could be handled. and a book or several books i might write … Continue reading Happy Day →

Abt the State Hospital

I made the mistake of falling in love with someone there who did not return those emotions. Somewhere ine my mind I had sick fantasies that me his condition in life. Where he explained things to me like that he had been so hungry he had to eat grass. Anything I say may lead me … Continue reading Abt the State Hospital →