a short life in pictures

Me, at 13, a nerd Kent Scool graduation 1979. I don't know where I am in this picture but I know that I was lost. It was a sad day for me. But the parties up and down the northeast coast for the next few weeks were thrilling. almost as exciting as graduating (a year … Continue reading a short life in pictures →

the new MH System: another Saint

it started at the Horsham Clinic. I barely got out of there alive. I almost got to Wernersville in the wrong way at the wrong time. Saint Bonnie Lynn pulled a trick that enabled my fragile CONFIDENCE so that I could stand up to the MH System I got home ready to face my father's … Continue reading the new MH System: another Saint →

A Saint

A felon who helped people at Haven Hospital in Reading, i have heard, is now a Saint. Her name was Lori. I called her a Saint and several others also. It was that deep there. I am not crying, I am mortally ashamed. Because she personally loved me back to life after the epiphany I … Continue reading A Saint →

last gasp re Hopkns, the MENTAL impact

or lack thereof. The first night I was there Lipsey made the point to me that "an idle mind is the Devil's workshop." and then just dropped it. I spent the next 28 years of my life figuring it out for myself. I had been having horrifying problems with Satan out in California and was … Continue reading last gasp re Hopkns, the MENTAL impact →

HOPKINS: the physical impact

over time the debacle of my stay at Hopkins became progressively more physical as my mother disdained me, restraining orders were filed, and the emotional stress and the climate in Florida were too much for me. I was so ill. My treatment of Ian was shocking. In ways that I couldn't control. And this pained … Continue reading HOPKINS: the physical impact →

gaslighting

I just looked up the meaning of this expression the other day .and I finally understand what has going on. Its a specialized form of harassment and persecution. I just looked it up again to be sure of myself. it is of concern to the American Psychological Assocation and it is described as the manipulation … Continue reading gaslighting →

photo

my beautiful bed, one that I can lie in. It's an old futon on a flat frame. I have to thank my father for funding this beautiful and healing project of completely gutting this old place and refurbishing it to my own taste. I just pray ny mother doesn't move back in and haul everything … Continue reading photo →

pain-taking; 2

Then, there's the physical pain, largely unreported. it started with Chelsea, last week. she gave me cortisone shots for my knees. I am largely out of torturous agony for the first time in 25 years. it affected my whole body. There's a story there about falling on my knees, over and over., Sle,ep has been … Continue reading pain-taking; 2 →

pain-taking

I won't do it any more. I fight back. I remember saying a long time ago that In the 80's it was about "farming out the pain." my father used to say it. my pain at that time was future-oriented. I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. 8n 5he … Continue reading pain-taking →

MH World

Roe v Wade is down. My personal interests in that regard are personal now. Re racism: yeverywhere I go I see black men and women happy and in recovery. the cause that I thought would be my last is now first. When first asked, I disdained. That was on a psych ward in Tampa where … Continue reading MH World →