I've been picking up puzzle pieces, connecting the dots, dotting the i's and crossing the t's, resolving the disconnects; for a COMEBACK. This has been DECADES in the making. The disconnect I picked up on today that has everything falling into place is the urology appointment in Florida that got canceled because of a hurricane. … Continue reading Needing the help
My poor body
...is destroyed. At first, it was my wrists. Those little cuts bode ill for me in the most serious ways. Then, the OD at 24 ironically compounded the damage from being kneed in the crotch as a little girl because the routine catheter hurt. The most noticeable impact right away was that I couldnt feel … Continue reading My poor body
My Life
Right now my future daughter-in-law (that's how I see it) is a big part of my life. Unfortunately every time I turn around I step on her toes or she steps on mine and this has been going on for the longest time. She is Brazilian and I see that as significant and important about … Continue reading My Life
Human Beings
In California my ex and I made up the game "Who's the Asshole?" The winner got to walk away with the most attitude. Through that, I learned NEVER NEVER NEVER to use that word about a man. I lost my life over it twice. More recently, the game has been "Who's the saint?" That has … Continue reading Human Beings
About Harvard
Finally its past tense. I am held there now for hurting men. Because of the malpractice early in MY psych care that started on my leave of absence half way through my senior year, this never got addressed as it should have been. There was a very real reason for this abuse of men and … Continue reading About Harvard
About Evil
I posted yesterday about my baby's poor little eyes, how I was afraid I hurt him. Something evil happened. I loved him so much. He was like a little angel, gleaming pure white. He had almost died when he was born. But to me everything about him was so beautiful but, I couldnt pick him … Continue reading About Evil
Betrayal
I finally found out that my sister seduced my husband. I always knew she dissed me to him. So, she never knew it but for that reason I dissed her to her old boyfriend's sister--the one who "ate condiments for food"--when we were out on the patio smoking that Thanksgiving that his family came here … Continue reading Betrayal
Eyes
Ian, love, i remember your poor little eyes. I didnt know! Little newborn babies have wobbly eyes! I thought rhat something was wrong because I couldnt look into your eyes and I was afraid I harmed you by trying to engage your eyes. And then, something terrible happened, you fell and hit the corner of … Continue reading Eyes
Remedying the Past
It inheres in the present in so many ways. Im starting with Sasha, the poor little cat who walked up from the edge of the road to a little pet house on the porch beside my mothers kitchen. Only 8 or 10 weeks old. That was around 2006. After my mothers death last year (2020), … Continue reading Remedying the Past
Prayers Proved Through
So, at the state hospital, WSH, at the end, on rhe Lodge Program ward, I was carrying on a lovely relationship with 3 men about my own age--mid 20s. We regularly ordered pizza and Greek salad from the Italian restaurant nearby in the highway at the end of the lane, using our workshop pay. For … Continue reading Prayers Proved Through
Un.Bon.Mot 