I just uncovered the biggest lie of my whole life and it was put there by Satan. Oh my! I made a suicide attempt when I had just turned 22. I was such a child; I didnt know how to do it. So, i tried to get pills. I went to my mother's doctor and … Continue reading The Biggest Lie
Wondering
As i sift through my past in light of this new information--that my cat's pregnancy back in 85/86 traumatized me FOR A REASON; i am looking back on the stays at the state hospital during 86 to 88 with new insight. I understand that there was a reason for me to be there. The first … Continue reading Wondering
Cat complex
Posting from my cell phone because this is a sudden, intimate moment. Have been posting momentously, privately. Now, it's about the cats. Because now i see why i was so obsessed over my cat Daisy, getting pregnant when i sent her here from Mass. after relationship with roommate, J. in apartment there broke up in … Continue reading Cat complex
Change to “Hello”
Well, since I wrote that a week ago I have been through an abysmal time. Hangover from the holidays + life catching up with me from long ago. Its a good thing. Solving some huge problems; and my mind is telling me that things will be easier from now on. My son in my mind … Continue reading Change to “Hello”
Hello
Hello! I am returning after a long absence. I have been progressing in my psychotherapy and religion toward a much better place. You will find that my style has greatly changed and will continue to evolve with a total reworking of my mental structures from abysmally complicated (before) to dynamic and complex (now). My psych … Continue reading Hello
Word to the wise; MIRACLE; 2. Cheating
second post following 4 months tapering off Clozaril, a psych med; and adding Elavil, a tricyclic anti-depressant. In both high school and college I was unfortunately and somewhat unfairly, mistakenly, and erroneously accused of cheating on a boyfriend. And I didn't realize any part of that until years later; even now. In high school, I … Continue reading Word to the wise; MIRACLE; 2. Cheating
The real truth; word to the wise; 1
Tapering off Clozaril; resuming a tricyclic anti-depressant after 25 years After 4 months, my whole life is falling back into place. A MIRACLE is happening. No, I was not suicidal at Harvard in Fall 1982 when my roommates complained to the senior tutor and he marched me over to community mental health services. When I … Continue reading The real truth; word to the wise; 1
Fatal Accident
My brother suffered a fatal accident. He made a suicide attempt, jumping off a cliff in his beloved Hawaii. I am reassured by the Lord that in the 10 seconds or so that he had to think about it, he changed his mind; but there was nothing he could do to stop the downward fall. … Continue reading Fatal Accident
Tidal wave
I'm putting up all these posts and people are visiting but noone is liking! And my son isnt responding to my texts and my ex isnt answering my emails and neither is my Dad! It's like a tidal wave, everything has gone blind as if my brother in Heaven has sent a tidal wave from … Continue reading Tidal wave
Baby X
An abortion. I am dovetailing my psych history with my pregnancy history. I am seeing that the very things most untoward and despicable in my life were in fact necessary because they were a part of a pregnancy that SHOULD HAVE GONE FORWARD. At the time I was convinced that the abortion was legitimate because … Continue reading Baby X
Un.Bon.Mot 