Judaism

Am I Jewish on my mother's side? I wish I could verify this in some way. There were so many things that seemed to lean in this direction. I settled to embrace that I am but I have no Jewish formation (that is a Catholic word so...?) )? Is this rude to Jews who practice … Continue reading Judaism →

Finale

The ultimate blog post; the 40-year procrastination list resolved. Numerous 40 year trajectories coming together as one all at once. I have posted numerous times in the last few days and it has led to a real watershed and the denouement of the most important struggle of my life. In a nutshell, I was stranded … Continue reading Finale →

Work in Progress

So, it is SICKENING, what I have to write about today. I have to go further back, before my child, before the lies and deception surrounding the marriage, before my child; when i was a REALLY, REALLY HORRIBLE PERSON. I drove the PA roadways for hours a day, drinking 10 large coffees, spilling coffee on … Continue reading Work in Progress →

Hello

Hello! I am returning after a long absence. I have been progressing in my psychotherapy and religion toward a much better place. You will find that my style has greatly changed and will continue to evolve with a total reworking of my mental structures from abysmally complicated (before) to dynamic and complex (now). My psych … Continue reading Hello →

Tears of Joy

After 40 years, my parents have fessed up about an unfortunate sexual incident that has been poisoning us in secrecy all these years. It didnt hit me at first. It went down in my psychotherapist's office on Wednesday; today is Saturday. We've been going through the motions since then; waiting for the other shoe to … Continue reading Tears of Joy →

Uncomfortable

Everything is changing really fast and looking really good. I dont want to be benefitting from my brothers suicide! But, maybe that's what he wants. After 40 years, I am entirely OVER my suicidal thinking. And praying for 40 more years! I am up for it! I want this house. I always "poo pooed" it, … Continue reading Uncomfortable →