cccv me on horseback once upon a time. Claire was a serious rider. THE END. While I was touching up THE END of my career as a "Performance Artist of the Psych Ward," Claire was proving through her Ph,D. In (?) Archaeology? We haven't talked much for a long time but this time we did … Continue reading Fugue: my father, me, n my sister
Tag: Father
Brothers death “altruistic”
When i was seeing Sister Marie for baptismal counseling, about 2 years ago, i had a concern that caused me to ask my father to step in. It was a sexuality issue that i didn't t know how to resolve. My father said that would be "altruistic" for him to get involved. As if that … Continue reading Brothers death “altruistic”
Asshole
I have learned NEVER to use that word about any man. But there is an exception to every rule. I am embracing words from a book called "The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse." Dan Allender says in this book that it IS good to confront your abuser, if possible, when … Continue reading Asshole
Red alert
I funalky "have* the situation here. I was a disciplinary problem for both my mother and my teachers when i was a girl. I was emotionally blind and non-responsive, progressively dull and insensitive because if the being kneed in tbe crotch. I was a pervert. But i was extremely imtelligent. My father, who had his … Continue reading Red alert
Critical moment continues
I have had to MAKE time for this b.s. She pulled a really fast one that jumped up and bit me today. She was being strangely nice last night. We hadn't talked like that since i was 16. It didnt lsst long. Then today the problem with the car reared its ugly head. By arranging … Continue reading Critical moment continues
Tuesday evening
I missed partial hospital again today but the group leaders okayed it as promised and, God willing, i will go tomorrow. It was terribly stormy this morning and i felt weak in my groin from stress and laying in bed. Now it is near time for bed and i am feeling much better. I went … Continue reading Tuesday evening
Catholic Church
Went to 1100 mass yestetday. All bets are off. At church, i heard the truth for the first time. The Reverend talked about Jesus on the road to Emmaus and i believed him as i would believe my father if i could, which i cant, he is a lecher and a liar. It was plain … Continue reading Catholic Church
Rocky Road
What a relief to have my blog to come back to! Its a small thing but its been a constant in my life for 8 years now. And what a long, strange trip its been. I am fighting off feelings of despair today, feelibgs i havent had since high school. For a moment i thought … Continue reading Rocky Road
Error
Im beating myself up over a banal and stupid error, fumbling with my cigzrette butt at the smoke extinguishing receptacle and dropping it on the ground, and i came here, only to be reassured thzt i haven't finally, really lost the thread--what i always live in fear of. No-- by my last post, "Error Message," … Continue reading Error
Un.Bon.Mot 