the tears I've cried would leave traintracks down my face if I had ever been able to actually cry them. There's a freight train that runs through this vicinity, it runs about 400 yards from our home. It runs throughout the day and night. Not TOO often. I have finally got the hang of it. … Continue reading train tracks
Tag: Hope
A Lie in the Making
a week ago, more or less, I got it into my head that the shit poisoning could be helped by a tiny glass of sherry. Or whatever my father has. It was about 10 or 11 pm, my father was upstairs in bed. I take alcoholic beverage almost never. I poked through some cabinets to … Continue reading A Lie in the Making
Captain Ko
every ship has to have a captain and I remember from my very first hospitalization epwhen I had just turned 22 a woman older than me saying that she felt like we were on a boat. At the time I disdained her for this but I've grown up since then. I was on a ship … Continue reading Captain Ko
a break on the horizon
someone who can break down these decades of disorganized persecution over a psych condition that was always in question. I used to say it was like walking into a doctors office with a broken leg and a headache from not sleeping and since the doctor is a psychiatrist he finds mental and mood disorders and … Continue reading a break on the horizon
Terror
With my mother and me terror is always a factor. I am looking--in my mind--at the video footage of my son that i described in my last post--sick and disoriented. And it strikes me as a reflection of reacting with a sexually damaged Mom. That my mother just fostered our actual telatuonshio. But NO! My … Continue reading Terror
Hallelujah
Leaving this place in an hour. As i say my goodbyes, make paths straight in the Lord and finish packing, it just dawned on me that my son has come to faith. He is living in a setting like this wbere it is natural to speak of God, and be did so to me in … Continue reading Hallelujah
Hope
I hoped that after i forgave Bruce, which i did, it was a painstaking process of letting go of difficult moments; i hoped that all the rest of the trouble, including the "interracial offense," would come out in the wash. But its going slowly and taking its time, this forgiveness. I realized that Satan had … Continue reading Hope
Un.Bon.Mot 