At the house in Summit, New Jersey, my little sister--8 years younger--told me she had a dream that she was drowning in mud. I took rhis very seriously as I was deeply engaged in ineffectually pursuing imaginary psychoanalysis based on the book, "August" that my psychotherapist had given me to read. It was about a … Continue reading Finale, 2
Tag: Marriage
Connecting the Dots; updated
Well, its been a long time; but the water is finally well over the dam. Since Wernersville State Hospital in Berks County. PA, from a situation in 1988; where they didnt know me and I was held on a bunch of lies that I didnt even know. Then, I spent 2 years here in semi-recovery; … Continue reading Connecting the Dots; updated
Golddiggers.com
First, my husband said, you better watch out; there are other women who are getting inerested in me. He was pulling down a nice weekly paycheck as a software consultant; he got started by taking a years leave of absence from a major industry vendor, claiming he needed to take care of me. I was … Continue reading Golddiggers.com
Watershed
My marriage hangs in the balance. My father is convicted of his sin of sexually mistreating me when I was 17. He has abused his power to keep me under his thumb all my life, despite my being married and having a child who needed me. My husband and son disbelieve me. We are divorced. … Continue reading Watershed
Book Edit
My book is on the shelf for a month, percolating, per the advice of an excellent site I stumbled up upon; surely the Lord is with me; for reaL I entertained a conversation with my mother this evening, after watching the evening news with her and my father; about the Chinese Horoscope, the mark of … Continue reading Book Edit
Hallelujah!
I disbelieve Sister M. that my marriage is invalid. She herself strongly encouraged ne to trust that i had "baptism of desire" before i was baptised. And before i met my husband i had spent 2 years in religious "training" with a born again Chrustian friend from the state hospital. She was a schizophrenic and … Continue reading Hallelujah!
Rape
The problem with my marriage and motherhood is that it started with a rape. Mybex had me pinnrd diwn. Wevwerent using a ny orotection. H exoexmcted him to pull out. Then, at the last minute, he cried out, "Let me come deep inside you! Tell me you live me until the end of time! There … Continue reading Rape
one plus one equals one
Finally got it! It took a second after questioning whether I shold leave "things we turn a blind eye to" as a published post. I remembered the "scuz" of my childhood. The greasy film on my scalp, the thick layer of white scum on my teeth. My mother didnt attend to my washing and because … Continue reading one plus one equals one
The Damage
After seeing Sister M. today i have been in a long slow burn if refuting my own suspicions of sexual impropriety WITHOUT turnibg to somebody in authority--been there, done that; in the end i relied on a trusted voice in ny own thoughts to reassure me and overcame the long weekend of worry. OF COURSE … Continue reading The Damage
“California, a Pro-Life Novel”
I am in the process of vetting this blog for illegal references as I am making it a platform for my book which will be coming out in the next week or so, I will put an alert here when it actually becomes available at the self-publisher website lulu.com. It will be available at Barnes … Continue reading “California, a Pro-Life Novel”
Un.Bon.Mot 