Ian, I suddenly see this whole, lifelong situation clearly. Frank and Grandad came over here to the United States on a honeymoon on a lark. At least, that was what Grandma thought. Grandad told me he knew he wanted to stay in America. People always confided in me. I was like a receptacle for secrets, … Continue reading Domino; email to my son
Tag: Mental illness
My sister, the end
In sorry dear, but I meant it when I made it over with you at the side of our mother's death bed. Obviously there needed to be a go-to for a new relationship but that didnt happen. Im over the rote, silly dance in our family where I was marked lame and not allowed to … Continue reading My sister, the end
Election Night 3 going into early morning hours Friday
But, I am here to post for my own sake alone. Its all coming out through this election trauma. Me n my Dad. Were fighting like mad. He doesn't like to acknowledge it. He has until 7 a.m.; to move through this or I am moving out. Thats in one hour. I realized that he … Continue reading Election Night 3 going into early morning hours Friday
Ulterior Motives
Poor Sasha! I just didn't know! The shocker was that her skin was falling off! The vet tech went to comb her back and her skin was falling off with her hair in chunks. The problem with this for me was that back in November of 2016 I made a suicide attempt of taking a … Continue reading Ulterior Motives
Golddiggers.com
First, my husband said, you better watch out; there are other women who are getting inerested in me. He was pulling down a nice weekly paycheck as a software consultant; he got started by taking a years leave of absence from a major industry vendor, claiming he needed to take care of me. I was … Continue reading Golddiggers.com
Fear
Everyone here lives in fear of my mother. We do a dance for her. Even the cats. She is mentally ill and dangerous. I am praying for Jesus to find her and lead her to seek treatment for her lifelong illness. Instead of seeking refuge in mine.
Justified
My brother has committed suicide. It's been 4 1/2 months now. We cant get over it. For me, it justifies a lot of things. I was the one who was always attemping suicide. 5 tries. Then, suddenly, this. I didn't know what to think. I finally realized that my patents were feeling desperately guilty. And … Continue reading Justified
Red alert
I funalky "have* the situation here. I was a disciplinary problem for both my mother and my teachers when i was a girl. I was emotionally blind and non-responsive, progressively dull and insensitive because if the being kneed in tbe crotch. I was a pervert. But i was extremely imtelligent. My father, who had his … Continue reading Red alert
Safety
51 years later, its finally hitting. Im going to have to rework my book.  I noted yesterday on the last page of the printout if the manuscript, "i just realized that Tracey T (not her real name) was the breaking point of the ectopic pregnancy."  A short while later i found my way to tbe … Continue reading Safety
Johns Hopkins (pursuant to my last post)
I left out the hospitalization at Johns Hopkins Affective Disorders Unit in 1994.  They bothered to send me there (because my husband was involved. That was the story with my MH treatment. After i got married i received treatment where before that i was ignored.) But they couldnt allow that it was for my sake … Continue reading Johns Hopkins (pursuant to my last post)
Un.Bon.Mot 