Sudden Death in the Smoke Shack

Well I thought I had it beat. With all this that I've been going through, and private smoke breaks, I've gotten in touch with gentler times, despite the horrors and a gentler me, happier, more positive, even with all the tragedy. But im forced back into the Smoke Shack by various factors including rain, and … Continue reading Sudden Death in the Smoke Shack →

Attitudes and Personalities

Well so far im fouling out on the separate smoke breaks. I keep uncontrollably craving one at the regular smoke brrak times. At 4 i almost got caught on the way in by big J, although i had higher ground while i was smoking i had to cross near the smoking area to get rid … Continue reading Attitudes and Personalities →

Desultory Ending

Well i have to follow up to be honest. I aced the smoking porch at 9 a.m., having been primed since 6 a.m. i took no guff and walked out of there to rhe sound of church bells ringing. It was clear that i had to be there and thats why i had to miss … Continue reading Desultory Ending →

Sunday morning

My guiding voices, in this case my son's, tell me not to go to Church this morning. I have LEARNED to follow these voices, following the example of St. Faustina and her 'internal promptjngs.' They're not 'voices' just a single word like 'no', or 'do' or 'do not.' Its odd but its been going on … Continue reading Sunday morning →

Brawl on the smoking porch

They were all on me. I was about to call 911. Maybe i should have. Miss J (i promised not to use names) swore she didnt kniw what i was talking about when i called her on holding back the lighter shortly after i got here "Abby got burned," big J said, and i told … Continue reading Brawl on the smoking porch →

Roommate

I have a new roommate who "hates it here." She was really getting me down. I realize, because when she left today to go back to the hospital, i got a breath of fresh air. Ive been waking up feeling so desperate and confused. She showed up again about an hour ago and a few … Continue reading Roommate →

A Brand New Start

You who followed me at mentaljourneysblog.wordpress.com may somehow stumble across me here, you'll find me by the tags. I went silent on the old blog last week due to insecurities, and, finally, the prompting of my new therapist. I can't afford to risk my stay here, and I have used the name of the residential … Continue reading A Brand New Start →