Like i said in my last post, zero tolerance for acting out sexually and acting out in general. I brought it up with my mother, the enbarassing outbursts, its happened three times. He jeers at me insanely if i bring up an issue with him, i dont even get a sentence out before he starts … Continue reading Its over with my Dad
Tag: Sexual abuse
“Anxiety Reactive”
Another day at home over vulnerability from the sexual abuse issue being brought up. Too many thoughts of THEM intruding insidiously. Turns out i have a mammogram at 10 so i didnt have to go anyway. Its a whitewash for me as staff isnt too positive about ny going over this old stuff. But honestly … Continue reading “Anxiety Reactive”
Justice, Mercy
From a Christian song: "let justice be served and then mercy win" This works both ways in my family. Im working on the sexual abuse. 39 years later, its finally out what really happened. My father had put a gloss on it, and then they attached a barge to that: weve been talking apples and … Continue reading Justice, Mercy
10 good things i have done for Black America
D6 1--I always held the door for Black wonen when i lived in Florida. 2--when the circumstances warrant it i address a Black man as sir. 3--on the psych ward in Florida i protected the grape juice ("the color purple") and the orange juice. OJ Simpson was on trial for murder. Clarence Thomas was facing … Continue reading 10 good things i have done for Black America
Cutting in line
The did it to me at breakfast this morning and tbey did it to me st 1030 smoke break. A white man let a black man and a black wonan cut in front of me. See "Mending Fences..." im dealing with this and the working out the sexual abuse with ny father at the same … Continue reading Cutting in line
And…
Wow im writing. And some of my writing is about my experiences with Black men and Black women and i have to get it out just like i have to get other stuff out. I have had some very bad experiences with Black men and women in my British racial blindness, and i need to … Continue reading And…
Freedom
God just released me from the sexual relationship with my ex husband, which was a question of ungodly and painful contortions. It is a relief. God showed me His tears. I'm not sure what He means. I see ny husband in my minds eye, a good looking fellow with a good sense of humor. How … Continue reading Freedom
Error
Im beating myself up over a banal and stupid error, fumbling with my cigzrette butt at the smoke extinguishing receptacle and dropping it on the ground, and i came here, only to be reassured thzt i haven't finally, really lost the thread--what i always live in fear of. No-- by my last post, "Error Message," … Continue reading Error
Un.Bon.Mot 