Mercy killings

I feel like Ive been on death row for 35 years for a crime that I never committed. After a childhood when I was held for things I couldnt help. My parents did something bizarre. They fled here from high society Summit, New Jersey and stuck their heads in the sand, leaving me at the … Continue reading Mercy killings →

Talking

Talked to an old friend last night. I haven't talked in years; ever. Dont know who to trust. My exhusband was one of the few NOT wordless people who was able to communicate with me. His French/German influenced Canadian with my Americanized British: he had learned as a youth in Europe how to be understood … Continue reading Talking →

Another message: brief

Dear Sister M., Through my interactions with you, including finally the baptism, i am healing if tbe bizarre sexual condition that plagued me all my life. More on this later. 2 minutes later: The bizarre mental OCD that started eith imoroperly taking the Tegretil and Haldol in 1987 is clearing. Tbis is incredible. My current … Continue reading Another message: brief →

Other sexual sins

So now that i have funally repented of the ENTIRE SIN of masturbation in my life, other, gentler sexual sins are presernt to me, from my childood--things that my mother should have corrected and didn't . Tbey arose out of my disability, from being kneed in the crotch by my brother; and how it was … Continue reading Other sexual sins →

Red alert

I funalky "have* the situation here. I was a disciplinary problem for both my mother and my teachers when i was a girl. I was emotionally blind and non-responsive, progressively dull and insensitive because if the being kneed in tbe crotch. I was a pervert. But i was extremely imtelligent. My father, who had his … Continue reading Red alert →

Sunday evening

Waiting on a call from an old friend. Made it to church today and it was very good. Recently i have been saying that if only i could have turned to religion instead of the psych world when i was young id have been much better off. And thats how i felt today. Like i … Continue reading Sunday evening →

Horse

Im finally getting it all figured out. My life in my family since i was 28 years imd has been dictated entirely by tbe death if my sister's horse. This is exactly as crazy as it sounds. They got a backhoe to BURY HER ON THE PROPERTY. (The horse, not my sister.) (Did i mention … Continue reading Horse →

Rocky Road

What a relief to have my blog to come back to! Its a small thing but its been a constant in my life for 8 years now. And what a long, strange trip its been. I am fighting off feelings of despair today, feelibgs i havent had since high school. For a moment i thought … Continue reading Rocky Road →

Sister

Now my sister is what's up on the smoking porch. Through chance associations we fell upon her husband who grew up on a bus in South central Florida with 9 other kids. I cant say any more without clearly revealing his identity. You really did it this time sister. I'm not really sure how that … Continue reading Sister →