Visit from my Sister

Well! I havent been here for well over a month. My book has 48 pages si far and i am roughing in headers. My sister and her husband are here fir tge weekend and the proof of the Holy Spirit has shown itself. I saw my sister and my mothers closeness and that there was … Continue reading Visit from my Sister →

Grief

Steven did you know I would sit outside the Giant supermarket holding on to the steering wheel of my Ford Fusion wrenched with sobs when I finaly figured out that you were gone? Grief is not longer just a word. I didn't know where I was going. I hadn't had anything to eat. I was … Continue reading Grief →

Rage

As i walk away from my brother's dearh which OF COURSE was accidental because he didnt realize what he was doing when he jumoed off that cliff, he had a silly idea in his mind--thats the sad truth. All he needed was career counseling. My fathet and my ex husband are SLIME. He was CRYING … Continue reading Rage →

fight

my mother and father are in their early eighties. my brother's suicide has been too much for them. I was baptised into the Catholic Church yesterday. It was a beautiful private ceremony. Of course they were not invited. They are atheists. Unfortunately, my father closely guards the Catholic baptism of his youth. It is one … Continue reading fight →

Almost to the end

This is the denouemont. They are saying he tripped and fell. "We arent going to use the word suicide." I am trembling as i write. Because ive seen this before. Its the one sure bet they ever saw in their life, it involves downing me and its sheer bull. It goes back to when my … Continue reading Almost to the end →

More of the Half-Lives of a Suicide

I don't know why he did it. Surely he could have picked up the phone and called somebody. I am going back in my mind to age 17 when I first desperately needed help, after my father tried to touch me. I was thinking about the money, why I have never had enough money, and … Continue reading More of the Half-Lives of a Suicide →

Suicide moving into half lives

The gone missig and the shock of the finding of rhe body are passed. The ground zero of the pain of the loss is moving off. For about three days everyrhing held a reference to my brorhers death. I cried again today. But its over. As i prayed the rosary today i was reminded of … Continue reading Suicide moving into half lives →

Suicide live online day 2

Actually we dont know exactly when it happened. I am speaking of my going public here about it. He we t mussi g over 2 weeks ago and his body was found in daylight hours there the day before Thanksgiving. Its been a slow burn. Thus morning at the Starbucks drivethrough the person ahesd of … Continue reading Suicide live online day 2 →

Not safe

My brother has committed suicide. He flung hinself off a cliff in an exotic location. I am too sad to be angry. He leaves behind his 18 year old son. And all the rest if us. It is a watershed event. We heard the tragic news Thanksgiving morning. He had been missibg for a week. … Continue reading Not safe →

Praying to St Joseph

I suffered a quiet suicide on Wednesday. I had been penned in since my "birthday dinner" on Sunday evening at a nice restaurant nearby which took SEVERAL nasty turns. My son was there which made it beautiful. But the g-rents lost it on rhe way hone after several inappropriate incidents. They say beggars cant be … Continue reading Praying to St Joseph →